Scripture: Genesis 12:1-9, Hebrews 11:8-16, Psalm 16, & Ephesians 1
I sat down today with a goal of trying to catch up and finish my BSF lesson for tomorrow night’s study. A little light reading in Genesis 12 (ha!) about Abraham’s call out of his homeland, away from his family, and into the unknown. Of course anyone who knows the story of the last 2 1/2 years of my life and knows anything of the story of Abraham might see why this resonates with me.
For those that don’t know my story let me summarize in a few brief words:
Lost job…career in ruins
Lived my savings down to nearly nothing…nearly lost my home
Took job in a field I’d been called out of YEARS ago… barely paid the bills
Called to Denver… loneliest season of life thusfar
Called to Seattle…most confusing season of life thusfar
And all along…waiting, trusting, doubting, hoping & looking for the story to tell
Meanwhile back in Genesis 12, Abraham is being called out of everything safe, familiar, secure, and acceptable. He is going to God-only-knows-where with his life in tow and trusting in a God that is turning out to not be anything like what his parents & community had told him god(s) was like.
Flash forward to the words of the author of Hebrews…she says the following in Chapter 11:
vs 8 ––By faith, Abraham obeyed when he was called to go out to a place which he would receive as an inheritance. And he went out not knowing where he was going.
vs 9– By faith he dwelt in the land of promise as in a foreign country…for he waited for the city which has foundations, whose builder and maker is God.
vs 14-–For those who say such things declare plainly that they seek a homeland. And truly if they had come out, they would have had the opportunity to return. But now they desire a better, that is, a heavenly country.
Whew Jesus! These verses are hitting my homesick nerve and my “what are we waiting for?’ nerve today in a way they haven’t in a while. Verse 14 in particular reads with a bit of self-imposed subtext that says “You can go back to NM if you want…or you can wait and see what I’m up to. Your choice Darling Girl.”
Don’t get me wrong…Denver and Seattle are nice places…and New Mexico is little more than a memory of home. My tender spots are all around the whys and whatfors and whens of this life of following Spirit. Waiting on the Divine…who stands outside of time…is a lesson in discovering joy in the midst of the waiting and finding laughter in the season of doubt and truth in the deep well of uncertainty.
So off we go to Ephesians 1 and our friend Paul who says:
vs 3—Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ , who has blessed us with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places in Christ.
Oh…so my blessings are spiritual and are in heavenly places? Hmmm…that sounds a bit like it doesn’t matter particularly where I live and that the I AMs gonna do what the I AM wants to do where the I AM wants to do it when the I AM wants to do it
vs. 17-20—that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of glory, may give to you the spirit of wisdom and revelation in the knowledge of Him, the eyes of your understanding being enlightened; that you may know what is the hope of His calling.
All right now…I am opened right up to the spirit of wisdom and revelation, the knowledge of Him, and having my eyes of understanding enlightened. And even more important I love the hope of His calling. Knowing that there is hope is what he calls us to…as a people and as an individual is critical to my peace.
And somehow these verses reminded me of a Psalm (16) that I haven’t read in years but of which verses 5 through 7 flooded my mind from some old memorization:
Lord, you alone are my inheritance, my cup of blessing.
You guard all that is mine.
The land you have given me is a pleasant land.
What a wonderful inheritance!
I will bless the Lord who guides me;
even at night my heart instructs me.
I know the Lord is always with me.
I will not be shaken, for he is right beside me.
At it’s simplest…this meander through scripture can be summed up for me with:
By faith, I have left all that is familiar to follow the Spirit’s call to a place that I don’t know, to do a thing I am not sure of, for people I don’t yet know. By faith, I remain sure that God is beside me and that our relationship is a good inheritance. By faith, I will listen and continue to connect to the things of the Spirit, and trust that the Divine will bring me more and more understanding, knowledge, wisdom, & enlightenment. By faith, I believe that the Creator of the universe will turn all of that into something…for me, for others, and for God’s glory.
I will not be shaken…I will not be moved (unless of course it is to a sunnier place…then I’m packing my stuff and calling the movers!) 🙂
Hi. I’ve been dipping my toe in the water of your blog for a while now. I found you six months or a year ago when I searched the terms “hippy,” “christian,” and “girl.” Thanks for making it easy to find 😉
So, it’s been an emotional evening for me, a lonely evening. It’s turned into an evening of mourning, of prayers, of tears, and confessions. It’s even become an evening of taking a tiny, fearful step toward opening up with two people I have been mostly closed to all of my life. And having just done that, I now find this post at the top of my RSS feed. These are very timely words you have penned, HCG; very timely words, indeed. I am very moved by them and am going to print them out and ruminate on them over the next few days. Thank you for reminding me of where I come from, where I’m going, and what I’m doing. Your openness about your life is impacting my life here in Oklahoma City tonight. And I am glad for that.
Sounds like you are doing some work and leaning into change. Just today I was sharing with friends that I believe confession and speaking truth are lost forms of worship. And here you are…sharing that you’ve had a night full of those things. Prayers that you would feel God’s presense as he accepts your praise through openness, truth-telling, and tears.
I for one have been pretty sure that only my friends and a couple of family members ever read my blog…glad to know it’s more than that. 🙂
HCG (aka Leah)